Reader “The Didact”, who blogs here — https://didactsreach.blogspot.com — writes in with another one of his classic comments.
“Your advice to your reader is solid. He does need to get his butt over to Ukraine – or Russia, or anywhere else in the FSU, if that’s where he wants to look – and actually do some research on the ground.
However, if he wants a good Christian woman, then he needs to bear a few vitally important things in mind. I write this from the perspective of a Christian (albeit an appallingly bad one), so maybe this will help him too.
First, Ukrainian women are mostly Orthodox Christians, if they are Christian at all. That means that their understanding of what the True Faith means is very different from that of an American Protestant or Catholic. They do not have anything approaching a truly personal relationship with Our Lord, and they worship icons far more than they read or understand the Bible. The Living Word is not nearly so strongly held by them, nor is it taught in anything like the same way, as it is in Evangelical Christian communities in the Bible Belt. So there WILL be a major culture shock involved.
Second, the largest towns and cities in Ukraine are not ideal for finding “a good Ukrainian Christian woman”. I know of women from Kiev and Kharkiv. They are beautiful, feminine, and sweet – but they are absolutely NOT good Christians in any way, shape, or form. The ladies that I know have truly awful dating histories and are quite adept at tricking gullible men into thinking that they are angels – one of them did precisely that to me for a long time. He would be better off in smaller towns like Luhansk, Mykolaiv, Poltava, or Donetsk. These are parts of Ukraine where the True Faith is strong and the women are taught from an early age to be subservient to their menfolk.
The downside to this, of course, is that if he goes to smaller towns and cities, he will need to know the local language. And that means putting in the hard work, time, and effort needed to master at least basic Ukrainian and Russian. Both you and I can relate, from hard-won personal experience, that these languages are quite challenging.
Third, and probably most important, you can’t just show up in Ukraine, or anywhere else, looking for a good Christian woman. Real Christians know each other and stick together, just like any other community. You cannot simply show up and expect to be accepted into their community without first proving that you walk the talk – especially in the FSU, where outsiders are treated with a sort of polite reserve until such time as they prove that they can be trusted. For foreigners coming to the FSU states, that means learning the local language and customs, and respecting the huge differences between Ukrainian and American ideas about how the world works.
Fourth, the absolute worst thing that your reader can do is walk into any bar or restaurant in Ukraine with that typical American/Western attitude of “finding a wife”. The local girls know the look of such a man. He usually just walks in, looks around at the girls, tries to find the prettiest ones, and tries to impress them with his wallet and accent. Ukrainian and Russian girls are smart, cultured, and wise to those tricks, and they won’t fall for them so easily. Indeed, they have a high degree of active disdain for such men and make their feelings on the subject known quite plainly. There are plenty of “romance tours” that go from the USA to Ukraine with large numbers of pot-bellied American men in tow to meet beautiful girls, but take it from me, these aren’t the droids girls you’re looking for.
Fifth, Ukraine’s economy is in the shitter, and has been for quite some time, while Russia’s is doing far better. The result is that Ukrainian women, at least in the cities, have developed excellent survival skills designed to part foreign men from their money. Their Russian sisters consider Ukrainian women to be tricky and dangerous, for many a Russian woman has lost her husband or boyfriend to a Ukrainian girl who then takes the man for a ride and leaves him out in the cold. Furthermore, any man who takes a woman from a foreign country and brings her back to America had damned well better be sure that she is the real deal. The horror stories concerning FSU women who come back Stateside and then divorce-rape their white-knight husbands are real and numerous.
Your reader is well advised to find girls through dating sites, if he just wants to take a short trip, and meet women in person – but if he wants an actual Ukrainian Christian wife, then the only acceptable course of action is to go to Ukraine for at least 3 months and get acclimated to the culture, the women, and the way of life.
And, indeed, your reader should not expect to find 25-year-old Ukrainian Christian virgins. Just doesn’t happen in this part of the world anymore. Women lose their cherries by 20 at the absolute latest. And for all that I respect the Orthodox Church, I have serious disagreements with the way that they interpret the Word and I believe that they end up doing severe damage to their followers, especially the women, with some of the things that they preach.
With all of that said, I still say that women in Ukraine and Russia are far better bets for long-term relationships than Western women. They come with half a hundredweight of issues unique to FSU nations, but they are far more feminine, caring, kind, sensitive, and appreciative than their distantly-related cousins, the Western Hambeasts.”
Honestly, I’ve been to enough large cities throughout Europe now, and I think I’ve met enough people, to draw a reasonable conclusion:
People just aren’t that religious anymore.
Not saying it’s good or bad, it just is what it is.
Think about it.
How many people in your day-to-day life do you know who attend church on a regular basis, every Sunday?
Maybe it’s a bit more true in the small towns across, where everyone knows everyone knows everyone and the church is still seen as a community.
But it’s not the case in big cities.
Rarely, if ever.
Because people have other ways to socialize, so religion has fallen by the wayside.
And yes, that makes the girls just a bit more bad.
Like Didact said, I’d argue that women out here in Eastern Europe are superior for long-term over their Western counterparts, but you still must take care, screen carefully, and set realistic expectations. Like he said, if you want the pure and innocent girl, you’ll likely have to venture to the villages, and yeah, you’ll want to be able to communicate in deeper terms than ordering a beer…
You’ll have to be a bit of a pioneer.
Willing to give up a lot of comforts and conveniences.
To dig up those cherries, you’ll need a bulldozer…
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