March 9


Bingo or blow? And a FB love letter

Laura wrote to me on Facebook recently to say:


Her: Tonight I will pray for you that one day you will see women as human beings and not as products to be reviewed.

Me: It didn’t work, dear. next time you can try a blowjob instead.

Her: Bahahahahaha. I’m sending you all the love in the world. That’s all you need.


Yeah, I hate to say it, but I’m going to need a lot more than a prayer.

In fact, I’m fairly certain I have a first class ticket to hell already booked when it’s my time. I’ve come to terms with it, and here’s why.

If you think about it, “heaven” is where all the good people go when they pass, right? That means all my great-grandparents, grandparents, etc. — all my family — are going to be up there. Probably playing bingo or some shit.

Meanwhile, down in hell…

Mr. Satan Himself?

He’s probably got cabinets stocked of high-quality, fire-breathing whiskey, and copious amounts of hookers and blow to go along with it.

So the real question is:

Bingo, or blow?

I think I’ll keep my first class ticket going south versus flying north, but that’s just my humble opinion. Like Laura said, I could probably use a prayer or two.

But, let’s talk about what she said:

Women as products to be reviewed?

Last I heard, there actually is a website that females get together on to review their male dates. How do I know this? Well, because an old friend of mine is actually on it. And, as far as I know, there isn’t a site to review females. And we all know if such a thing did exist, it’d be shut down in a heartbeat.

So take that.

In any case, I’m not so much about “reviewing” women as I am about giving men the best possible chances they can get, with the hottest, most intelligent, and most feminine girls said man is capable of finding.

To learn all of my secrets about this, go ‘ye yonder to the link below:

Keep causing Trouble,

Kyle Trouble

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