Teaching English and Eng-pregnating girls

I get asked, often, about how viable teaching English is as an option to “get abroad quick”.

I also often get asked, often, if I’m an English teacher when I meet new people – it’s just the assumption to make when meeting a native speaker. The look on their face when I tell them what I do (and how much I make, it’s always asked right after…) is priceless.

So here’s the dealio:

I have a friend who teaches English, and I’m going to use him as a guideline. He also is on this email list, so I’m hoping I don’t muck any of this up.

At an Eastern European capital city, English teachers should expect to make about $1,000 a month, give or take. This is for about 20-25 hour a week of lessons + lesson planning.

Now, this is the important part:

That $1,000 a month does NOT include summer months.

It is NOT $12,000 a year averaged over 12 months, but more like $1,000 a month except for the months that school isn’t in session…3 months a year.

It’s $9,000 a year averaged over 12 months. Which is only $750/m.

Now, this is easily supplemented by doing some private tutoring on the side, but that’s certainly not passive income. You’re having to actively work to get that work, then actually do the work.

Can you imagine that?

Moving to a foreign country, full of excitement. Then you get there and your yearly income is slashed by 25% before you even begin a day of work.

Now, my friend is a bit higher up the totem pole, and teaches harder topics than basic English, but that’s exceptional – not the norm.

Certainly, if you’re not set on Europe, there are better options in other parts of the world:

I hear that the Mid-East, if that’s your thing, pays $5,000 a month.

Developed Asian countries pay in the $2,000-$3,000 range. Keep in mind, this is developed countries. Think Japan or maybe Korea. Not a place in Southeast Asia where the girls will throw themselves at you.

Speaking of:

One other perk my friend mentions?

Being in the position of power with the students…we all know how girls like older guys. Add in the authority, plus the foreign-ness – winning combination.

Of course, if you don’t have the game to pull it off and get fired, you’ll go from $750 a month to nothing.

You best lock that student down and get her so addicted to you, that you’d never have to worry about the headmaster stopping by to put an end to your Eng-pregnating power.

To get those skills, head on over to my classroom.

Keep causing Trouble,


Chaos in the airport

The latest Dating Abroad Podcast is up and available, about the great city of Istanbul.

You’ll learn about my thoughts on the ground during one of the (many) terror attacks last year.


Where to stay and that kinda shit, if you’re interested in checking it out regardless.

Listen in here:


​Keep causing Trouble,


The alpha male of cheese(siness)

I don’t believe in being full on alpha-asshole all the time to girls.

In fact, unless that is 100% your personality, I think it’s slightly incongruent.

Maybe you struggle with this too, finding the balance between nice guy (who you really are – most guys are generally good people!) and “alpha”.

So, just wait ‘til you try this (or the equivalent):

My girl eats a lot of cheese.

I think it’s a Ukrainian thing, because her friend does too. Between these two girls they must consume a dozen of these little cheeses a week.

They’re small little circles, roughly 120 grams. Just enough for a larg(ish?) snack.

So anyways, my girl practically eats one of these things a day. I never stop making fun of her for it.

Here’s what I did:

I went and bought a half-dozen of the things (they’re a buck each), and completely lined the fridge with them. An entire shelf is taken up with camembert cheese.

I even took special precaution to make sure that ALL of her other food, juice, milk, etc. is hidden behind it.

Now, this is definitely a “nice” thing to do. And it’s also a dickish thing to do.

But I’m also going to have a kick out of it when she opens the fridge this afternoon and sees all those cheeses looking at her.

This is the important part:

I am amusing myself.

Sure, I’m doing something quite nice for her. She’s got a week’s supply of cheese. But I’m poking fun at her at the same time, and I’m going to have a good laugh out of it. I may even film it and use it to blackmail tease her later.

But hang on.

We’re not through yet.

Girls can’t help but be attracted by these kind of things. This one simple action, which cost me $6 and no time whatsoever, does the following:

= Provides – she is being “taken care of” by the man in her life

= Amused mastery – I’m entertaining myself (at her expense), showing that I can have a laugh at life

= Keeping her on her toes – she never knows whether she’ll get the more quiet, stoic guy, or the guy who is being nice and buying her cheese, or the goofy guy who is going to laugh his ass off at her later (in this specific case she’s getting two of these)

All of these = attraction.

Here’s how you can implement this, too:

Got a girl you like, or a girlfriend? Take her favorite cheap food/drink and completely fill one of her shelves with it. Make sure it’s something that you tease her often for.

It’s that easy.

Preferably, make it a healthier thing. I wouldn’t encourage any girl (especially westerners) to eat copious amounts of Oreo cookies, for example.

So, the message is clear:

Balancing “alpha” and “nice guy” can be difficult, but it really doesn’t take much to pull off both at the same time.

Just insert a food or drink and prepare for a laugh.

There’s more great tips in King’s Code, which is still on it’s Amazon super-sale. Get it here:


Kyle Trouble

PS: You can listen to the time she came on my podcast here:

Girls are animals and will eat you (nom nom)

I’ve got a map of the local zoo that sits on my table. I took the maps they pass out at the entrance took them home, and had them laminated. They are pretty cool little placemats that get a lot of compliments.

Every day when I look at those maps, I try to remind myself not to take life too seriously.

Reason why:

We’re all animals.

No matter which way you spin the puzzle of life, no matter what it comes down to biology and survival. Ya can’t fault women for doing what they need to do to survive, no matter how cruel it may seem on the surface.

That’s why today I want to talk about the “friend zone”…


Do you think a badass lion would be cool with one of the lionesses in his pride saying, “Hey, Simba, I really like you but I think we should just be friends…”

He’d have nothing to do with that, that girl would be exiled to the far reaches of the savannah.

So when a girl friend zones you (a human), it’s simply her way of saying that you *aren’t good enough* for her.

Take, as an example:

The first girl I ever really crushed on. I was 14, and I managed to summon up the guts to actually bring her flowers on Valentine’s Day. Cheesy, but she “loved it”…

…and then stuck me in the friend zone.

A year or so later, I finally caught on to her gig, and cut her out of my life. I set about improving myself (that’s when I lost 75 or so pounds), took up guitar and kart racing, and overall became a much better and interesting person.

And then:

She started trying to make contact with me.

And I let her, and all of a sudden things had totally switched around. I was “good enough” in the terms of the food chain.

Sure, I hated her guts at the time.

But now?

I can look back and just chuckle. Because she became intersted after I became interesting, and of course was heading off to college (unlike many of other peers) to study. Her survival instincts kicked in.

The lesson’s this:

Learning these lessons in life is truly painful. It usually takes a good shot in the gut of heartbreak. And it’s usually not a shot either. It’s often extended over a long period of time.

The thing is, once you figure out how lions think…all of a sudden you have more than what you know what to do with.

Kind of like how the female lions bring the pride leader all the food he wants.

One more thing, it’s important:

I tried my best to explain every situation possible in my book, to help avoid the heartbreak, gut punches, and overall BS that modern dating puts men through.

A lot of time has passed since I was 14 and I’d like to think I’m old and wise.

Get it here:


Keep causing Trouble,


Why bored girls are so hideous

I’m sitting in Starbucks in an off-the-grid neighborhood of my little EE city. So off-the-grid, in fact, that the nice girl who took my order was actually surprised and shocked to speak English.

Story time:

There is a girl sitting close to me. She’s very cute. She has a MacBook Air, so she’s probably a hipster.

Then again, I’m typing this on a gawd-damn iPad so I should probably not talk about hipsterdom. she’s been playing on Facebook for the last 45 minutes since I sat down. Who knows how long she’s been here prior to that.

The look on her face is absolutely priceless.

There is no emotion, and hardly any life as she scrolls lifelessly through her timeline.

It’s a Friday afternoon, the sun is out (albeit it’s a bit cold). And she is sitting in Starbucks bored out of her mind.

I feel bad for the girl, but this is our modern reality. Looking everywhere for a passion, for entertainment. Something to pass the time. We have so many tools at our disposal to entertain us, and yet we are still bored.

This is ridiculous enough to say as I type these words, but:

The guy sitting on the other side of me, doing the exact same thing (except with a Samsung Galaxy). In many ways they are exactly the same.

On my way here, I saw a young girl on the public transit.

The girl who was on the tram with her 1-year-old child in a stroller beside her was so much more full of life than these two.


That’s because the young mother has a passion in life – caring for another life.

It doesn’t even matter what your damn passion is, as long as it’s something you’re energetic about.

This is doubly-true for men.

Women often do not have true passions. When is the last time you had a girl who was truly PASSIONATE about a hobby like guitar, mountain biking, or something of the sort?

Half the time girlfriends just steal the guy’s hobbies.

The point is this:

It is up to you to determine what you want to pursue in life. But whatever it is, make damn sure it’s worthwhile. And if you decide to settle down with a girl, make sure she has her own missions she is following (#1 should be supporting you and raising your family).

Don’t let her scroll her Facebook feed like this girl in Starbucks unless you want her brain to rot like moldy milk.

Better yet, get a good girl from the very get-go.

King’s Code will teach you how, and it’s only barely the price of this shitty cup of coffee (but only ’til tomorrow):


Keep causing Trouble,


Why your journey is never complete

In February of this year, I sat down and wrote 10,000 words in one day for my new book. I’d tentatively planned to call it ‘Fallen’.

My intention was for it to summarize my entire “journey” from 21-year-old-sexless-dweeb and then onwards to 25 – living abroad and having my pick of girls.

I wrote those 10,000 words and thought I was nearly done with it (it made it 70,000 total). I figured a few more weeks of a thousand or so words a day and it’d be a wrap.

And I haven’t touched it since February.

The reason for this is because I just didn’t feel like my “journey” was complete. You see, I wanted to make Fallen about how far men have come down in society, and how one needs to get all his shit together in order to really “make it”.

I just realized I needed to live a bit more (a lot) before I could put the finishing touches on that book. There were things I still needed to figure out. Experiences to be had, and mistakes to be made.

But now as this year comes to a close (it is December 1st, after all!) I realize that the ”journey” will NEVER be done. And it won’t be for you, either. There is always something new to tackle. Another mountain to climb. It is simply how we are wired as men. There is no end to the mountains we will climb.

We are only happy, fulfilled, and content when we are climbing. The view from the top can be cherished, but only temporarily.

I don’t know if there is a “fix” for this. But maybe it’s not a curse, to begin with. Perhaps it is just how we’re wired. Perhaps this book shouldn’t be about how men have fallen, but how men can never stop climbing.

Maybe it’s time I summon the courage and finish this book, with the understanding that my journey will never truly end.

Hopefully I can get this put out to you sometime in the beginning of next year.

But, that’s not all:

I wrote King’s Code in one 15 hour day, and it’s received rave feedback to the tune of a 5-star average review on Amazon.

And it’s ninety-nine cents (thrift shop yo) for this weekend.

So if you can’t wait for Fallen, entertain yourself in the meantime.

Get it here.

The King of Mombasa sends an email and gets layed

Commenter Benson from Mombasa left a comment on one of my articles about Mexico…it’s a doozy.

“Hi my names are Benson from Mombasa Kenya I need a girl from Mexico for sex please anyone interested can send me an imail thank you”

Yes, Benson, I’m sure that’s worked many times in the history of the internet.

Leaving a comment on a random blog post and hoping that some random girl emails you to screw.

Benson is the guy who probably falls for the “Hello, I have received funds from the death of a long lost relative, what is your bank account so I can send you $20 million?”

It seemed that Benson never learned that you have to do the work as a man.

You gotta meet the girls, ask them out, make the moves, and seal the deal.

Only until that’s done, then it flips and they start trying to chase you down and send you email asking for the sexsi-time (for the record, I did have a groupie once from this blog)

Benson didn’t read about how to keep girls around so that even more girls chase you.

Maybe one day Benson will learn how to become the King of Mombasa, but that day is probably not today (unless he was smart and signed up to my email list).

And if he had…

He’d know that King’s Code is $0.99 right now, and that he could get it right here:


Keep causing Trouble,


Cocaine, part numero dos

Yesterday’s email told the story about the cocaine in da club…en el Colombia.

So here I am. In this random club in the ghetto of Barranquilla, and I’m getting an offer from my gringo buddy to go do lines of coke in the bathroom.


I didn’t.

I’m not sure why. I wish I had, in hindsight. Again, there wouldn’t have been a better time to do it. I’m not hugely keen on going back to South America anytime, so I wish I’d YOLO’D that coke like a fat girl munching on cake.

Alas, it wasn’t to be.

But, I do regret it – barely.

Here’s the thing:

Life is really, really short. I mean, I started This Is Trouble when I was 22 years old. I’m 26 now. It’s hard for me to fathom that I’ve lived abroad for almost two years. I

And that’s not all…

It keeps speeding up.

No matter what I do. And I don’t want to look back on my life and have ANY regrets. And you shouldn’t, either.

So if you’re not happy with your dating life. Or you want to date hotter girls. Or you want to learn how to just have the relationship on your terms and not hers.

Then you owe it to yourself to have no regrets.

And the exclusive Bang Black Friday package is yours, but only for a little while longer.

To claim your drug of choice, go here:


Individual products:

https://haremhandbook.com ($99 instead of $200)

https://godateonline.com ($47 instead of $100)

Keep causing Trouble,


You should probably do cocaine, often

A few days ago, I sent an email about that trip to Colombia which was what pushed me over the edge to quit my job and get abroad.

The story I never have told often?

The coke in the club.

I’ll never forget it, and no, it’s not because I’m some cocaine addict.

Anyways, Barranquilla, Colombia. A shithole, even by South American standards. That says all ya need to know.

I’m at the club, partying with my two friends. My mind was already made up. I knew I’d be going back to LA and making plans to move.

You’ll never guess what happened next (or maybe you can).

My friend, drunk off his ass at this point, just says to me, “Hey bro, I’m going to go do coke in the bathroom. You’re welcome to join me.”

It blew my mind. Here’s why:

The fact that despite the fact that Colombia was dangerous in it’s own right, it made me realize what FREEDOM was. The fact that you could literally just walk into a random bathroom in a random club in a random city, and go do a line of cocaine.

It shocked me.

I also (still) don’t understand how people managed to blatantly sneak that much cocaine past the armed doormen. Maybe sharing is caring.

And you want to know something?

I’d never done coke in my life. In fact, the only drugs I’d ever done was to eat a weed brownie.

But here I was. In Colombia for the first time. Planning on going home and quitting my job.

I mean, if there was EVER a time to have a new experience, this would have been it. To really announce my freedom away from the shackles of what American life had always told me I was supposed to live.

I turned back to my friend:

And I’ll tell you what I said…tomorrow.

In the meantime though, Bang Black Friday is back this year. This deal originally was put together with those same friends in Colombia two years ago.

No comment about whether we came up with it while in that club.

To see what’s on the bathroom counter this year, go here:


Keep causing Trouble,


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